So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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