I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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