you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
