Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize