went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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