The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My feet surprised me
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