i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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