Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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