I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
