I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
