You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
