so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
