OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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