life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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