After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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