Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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