do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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