bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We just shotgunned beers for America
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
