i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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