Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.

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(602): View more from Arizona

After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.

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(310): View more from California

I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.

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