Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
