I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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