and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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