There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
