I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
A bitchslap is in order.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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