...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
