He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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