Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
