There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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