Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
