I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
