I need to stop coming to work sober
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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