Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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