So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
