I'm so fucking centered right now
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
