I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
