So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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