his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
