Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
