um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
