batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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