Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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