We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
