so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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