Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
