I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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