on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
