I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
