My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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