My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
wow bdsm is so cute
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
