4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
