her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
