You can't motorboat a personality
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
