I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The beer is more important than you right now.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
