He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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