I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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