he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
