I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
