We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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