Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
