i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
