Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Randomize
