Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
