And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
